Twin birthday party











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Thoughts about life and loss

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 June, 14, 2024 I've become quite the cyinic post accident.  It's hard not to when life dealt the hand that it has dealt.  I see sadness at every corner or my day.  Support groups are full of the struggles of daily life of patients and families affected by spinal cord injury.  We are at the beginning of a very long unending journey that is full of complications and pain (physically and emotionally), just like a ticking time bomb until something happens.  Who knew this would be the hand we have been dealt.  Chris and I got married, spent time making ourselves better people.  We both are smart and educated and then dreamed of our family.  Doing everything right in life leaves no guarantees for a happy ending.  My life is one that no one other than those enduring this could understand.    Again, leave it to Gray's anatomy to help with life.  When the topic of profound sadness and tragedy was discussed, it talked about how unf...
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 catching up on old info: 3 YEARS! Hard to believe we were thrust into this world 3 years ago. Many of you know how hard this year has been. Reality set in. Days are hard and life isn’t easy and I could write a book on all the ways the system isn’t there to help support and protect those individuals with disabilities. It makes me sad to think of all those less fortunate than Julian that don’t have loved ones advocating for them, and making sure they have the best life despite the circumstances. Despite what life has given Julian, his loving personality is always present even on the hardest days like today. Trauma is real and heavy, that day will always be so vivid in our mind. Thankful for all the messages sending love especially on tough days. It really does help get through the days. Last week Julian had an opportunity to go to a week camp for SCI in Rhode island put on by Empower SCI just for teenagers. Julian has never known a stranger and loved getting to meet new fr...
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July 15, 2024

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  A surprising sadness that has come with the fall out of spinal cord injury and its effect on our lives is how those closest to me have responded.     I’ve always tried to be a nurturer and someone that people can come to for support.     When I need it most, it seems no one is there but 1 consistent person.     I’ve even told at least 5 people that I have been struggling significantly and feel like those words just get left hanging in the air without actions that I would have provided my closest or even a stranger when presented with the same wording something more than “I’m sorry”.      It makes me question relationships and people in my life.     I don’t need a pat on the back, but simply time from others occasionally.     I feel so alone to deal with this life and at times it is so overwhelming I question if it is worth it.     I used to feel like this feeling was selfish and an easy way out.   ...
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