post from October 17th on facebook from Jenn:

I’m back at Shepherd tonight with Julian. My mom did great with him for the week and gave me a much needed time away to recharge and fill my tank back up so I could be the person Julian needs me to be. I spent so much needed time with chris, Alex and Lilly! I got so much encouragement. Support, hugs and love from friends. . I couldn’t sleep last night thinking of coming back to this setting again, but it was anxiety provoking to come back here. Im praying that we have some positive news to report this week with the trach and getting this left arm to move more on it’s own. I keep thinking of what one of the doctors at work says to help her get through her difficult time…… “keep f***ing going”. I is one day at a time but that’s the choice we have, push through and take each day as it comes. Im refreshed this week and here to continue to push Julian to push himself also so that we can get some movement. Chris is doing good on the home front. We met with some people about getting a lift installed to get Julian into the first floor and second. We also need to find a contractor to help us renovate our bathroom so that it can be wheelchair accessible. Chris and I have been through so much and look forward to smooth sailing for awhile. When I think about the saying “god never gives you more than you can handle” it makes me want to have a serious talk with God. This is so much to handle and some days don’t feel like I’m strong enough to handle what has been given to me. When I could t sleep last night, something popped up that said god gives us a lot so that we might not rely on ourselves but on god. God doesn’t expect us to handle it, he expects you to hand it over to him, we need to rely on God. “Cast your cares upon me.. you will never know reviled until you do. “. I definitely need help to make it through. I believe with his help and the support of friends and family we will make it through to another side that we can manage. And I feel like when I don’t have enough faith, those who support me can lend me their faith to keep pushing through. I can’t say how much friends and family that continue to help us gives me the strength to go on.


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